A Slice of a Truckers Dream Cake, not the Tasty Part

By Ryan Bruzan | August 5, 2023 |
August 2023
I sometimes wish I was a good and effective liar, that's just not who I am. Gotta be honest, I am in a state of shock and confusion as to whom I am and where I stand in this whole truck and trucking experience. I seem to be in a constant state of stressful anticipation of the next problem, they are many. In my trucking experience as it has been, I seem to be constantly teased with temporary moments of joy and happiness, then beaten down and robbed of any pecieved hopes, happiness and financial savings. I don't have to count the costs, I have them all recorded.

I feel like I am just along for the ride on the whole trucking experience. I don't feel like I am a driver in any control. I seem to feel a lot like another expendable caged bull in the pen at a rodeo about to be infuriated with a taser and ridden by yet another contestant only to appease the spectators. Two movies come to mind: Rat Race and Hunger Games, I'm just another player on the field.

My hopes and enthusiasms seem to be constantly grounded. I am more and more feeling forced to have to envision a path to going my own way away from the trucking experience. It has been a backward flow as I see it.

Please allow me to be interrupted and dissuaded again.

Blaming my personal activities and my medical appointments is unacceptable. I haven't even got to fully enjoy my personal activity. Been so busy and more concerned about building a home I don't even feel like I will be able to enjoy due to future problems I've created, the winter. I'm no fool.

I am so far lost on where I fit in to the whole experience. There is nothing more to elaborate or explain. It is what it is and it sucks. I am very discouraged about being a part of the truck anymore. I hate how it makes me feel, like a noose around my neck.

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1 Comments

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